As the New Year rolls in it is a great time for us to evaluate our self-talk and consider what kind of story we are writing for our lives…is it one that pleases us, or do some things need to change?
I noticed despite all my prayer and focus on being a more loving person…I couldn’t break the cycle of my grumpiness at home. I thought, that is strange, I have made this desire to be more loving the focus of my life?! Why can’t I sort through these negative feelings? Then it hit me…I am stuck in a story of the past…in which I felt pain and bitterness.
When we want BIG change, Real change…it is only possible in the present moment. This is the only place we are receptive enough to receive God’s Love and support. I began to realize I have been in the darkness of my cave for years and although I have been evolving…I still bounce back and forth between two of my most prevalent facades: bitchy and exuberant (the former at home, the latter when social). Neither of these is the person I truly am, they are merely masks that protect me from feeling certain emotions.
So when I woke this morning at 4:11am. I grimaced as I felt the pain in my back that has plagued me for the last 15 years. I sighed. This is not what I wanted out of life. My story has been: “My back is killing me, I don’t have enough time to myself, and no one appreciates all that I do!”
This is where the great I AM comes into play. I AM is supposedly how God referred to Himself to Moses. What powerful words of creation! For the next 2 hours I stated affirmations as I laid in bed “I am loving, I am fair, I am creative, I am in touch with my femininity, I am healthy”…on and on it went and throughout the whole day. This creates new synapses in our brains, and opens new doors of possibility within our lives.
What was really shocking is that even though I was saying all these words inside my head; I noticed my boys found resolve where typically they would be fighting…I saw them reflecting on the people they were, and making some new choices. The day was harmonious.
A new story is how we create a new life for ourselves.
Be mindful of the power of your words and the story that you tell…make it one that brings you joy.
Happy New Year!